18 Lessons I Learned at 18 and 19 Hopes for My 19th Year

10:49 AM

Today I have been around the sun 19 times! I should have written this yesterday, but I realized that I was born at 4 p.m. CST and I am currently 8 hours ahead. I don’t turn 19 until 2 a.m. on May 6 whenever I live in Turkey. So until then, I am still 18 :)

Last year I wrote a post called, “17 Lessons I Learned at 17 and 18 Hopes for my 18th Year.” At that point in my life, I was in the weird balance of both being treated like a child and being treated like an adult. I didn’t know what age to feel and didn’t know how to comport myself. I was about to legally be considered an adult, but did not think I deserved that title.

I still don’t think I am a fully grown, mature adult. Yet while the Midwest was the place I grew older, Turkey is the place I really grew up. As a Westerner living in an Eastern culture, I learned so, so much about myself.
Today I took myself to Starbucks and read a book for lunch (#introvertlunchdate). All of a sudden, I looked out the window and realized the strangest thing about myself – I had changed. It wasn’t a small change. Sometimes we discover we really like pickles while we have hated them all our life, or we are good at something we never knew.
This change come from something much deeper. It felt like the gears of my soul had shifted. I can’t describe what I have learned in a year of living in another country, with people I didn’t know 365 days ago, and being fully responsible for myself. So these next reflections are a brief overview.
18 was the most beautiful, adventurous, growing year of my life. I don’t know how 19 can be better, but God has proven me wrong before.

So without further ado…..

18 things I learned at 18 and 19 hopes for my 19th year

18 things I learned at 18:
How to navigate a huge city (such as Istanbul) using Public Transportation – and that I actually prefer it to driving.
We can’t control how people will respond to the way we act or what we said – but we can control who we are trying to please and what our intention is.
The value in my days does not come from my productivity (I knew this before, but really learned it this year).
What true hospitality is.
I can live in a tiny apartment, with no laundry dryer, microwave, or hair dryer, and own about two suitcases worth of stuff – and not feel like anything is missing. I love it!
The power Christians have in the name of Jesus.
How incredibly fragile my life is. Everyday I wake up should be a living testimony to my Creator, for He has been gracious enough to sustain me.
To adapt, adapt, adapt.
People often see cultural differences as right or wrong – most often, they are just different (and incredibly beautiful!)
Goodbyes are pretty much the worst.
You can be friends with people even when you don’t speak the same language – you can make them laugh and feel valued. Yet you can also be torn down by others for not speaking the same mother language.
I am actually a little bit good with technology.
My mom really is my best friend.
Culture and language shapes us and the way we think more than we will ever be able to know.
Each day is enough for it’s own trouble – focus on the here and now, and don’t stress over things you don’t have control over in the future.
The value of human touch and kind words when you are far from your mother country, and you don’t get them so often.
To love and to have lost is truly better than to never have loved at all.
That my family could become 40 different people from 12 different countries.

19 things I hope for my 19th year:
When feel out of place in my home culture, that I will seek ways to find beauty where I am – and not sulk in my pain.
Get better at waking up early.
To really stop picking my cuticles.
Connect with Turkish and Middle Easterners in my hometown.
To actually write more poetry (didn’t do that one last year).
Paint more in my travel notebook (didn’t do that one either).
Finish editing my travel videos!
To look at myself the way God sees me.
Get back to playing classical piano when I get the opportunity!
Continue working on my Turkish and French.
Learn the Persian and Arabic alphabet.
Eat an 80% plant based diet.
Learn how to ride a horse well (a weird, life long dream of mine).
That I would be a woman of my convictions and hold to my values.
Slow down and take my time – quality in few things is better than mediocre in many.
Finish reading MiddleMarch.
Visit Greece (and one other country!)
Begin working on my degree.
And to continually fall deeper in love with my Savior every day of my life - for my heart to be His. And His alone.


Let's make this a good one, 19.

   xoxo, 

 Livi

OCTOBER 30 | DEAR ANNA | A LESSON IN GRACE

3:33 AM

Dear Anna,
I’m leaving in a minute to go to a cute cafe to incentivize myself to get all my work done. Even though I love the cafes here, none are as great as that cafe we went to in the middle of a snowstorm in Colorado. But I figured before I left that I would write you a letter about what the Lord has been teaching me.

OCTOBER 25 | DEAR CRUMPET (LILLY)

11:49 AM

Dear Crumpet,
Lilly - It's finally cold again! Even though Missouri weather is pretty inconsistent, Istanbul’s weather can be kind of moody too. I've been waiting for the right day to pull out my new long sweater, and today was the day! Perfect timing too, because it got really windy and “cold rained” (the kind of rain that stings your face).
This afternoon I decided to take a walk around the city because I had been cooped up inside all day. It's not exactly a peaceful walk, with the drivers honking at each other and ambulances blaring, but still - it's fresh air. Well, kinda fresh air. There's so much dust from construction always going on it's hard to call it fresh. But anyways, I went on a walk:)
I love Istanbul, but lately I’ve been missing the greenery of Missouri. It’s been my goal of recent to find beautiful places. They don’t have to be big or ornate, just something I find beautiful. Something peaceful in the midst of chaos, some greenery in a concrete world. Today was one of the days I needed to find a beautiful place, and I whispered a small prayer to God to find one. After a few times around the block, I found a little park. It was a children's park - but still, a park. And there were trees, and some of the leaves were red! (the leaves typically don't change colors here). I was sitting on a bench and suddenly had this irresistible desire to get on a swing. Keep in mind, these swings were about 1 ½ feet off the ground and were made for very small children. They had one of those pieces that slides down in the front to keep the children from falling out. I found myself wanting to so bad I just threw my so-called maturity to the wind and hopped in that children's swing. I'm pretty sure the people in the restaurant facing me thought I had lost my mind. But I'm sure you'll understand someday that sometimes you just need to swing in a toddler's swing and look completely insane. I grabbed a red leaf before walking back, just to remind me of home.
Fall has made me all reminiscent of Missouri and family. I’m not homesick, but sometimes my heart just hurts.
I made a chocolate cake in a mug today and it reminded me of you. Make sure to love on my puppy for me, okay? I give my stuffed animal Gio you gave me a hug everyday. I hope 5th grade is going well, I miss my little-Livi;)
All my love,

Tea:)